Everyone has someone that they look up to, someone that they hate to disappoint. Having the approval of that one person means more to us than anything, and their rejection cuts deeper than any blade ever could. We try to dress like them, talk like them, walk like them. It's as if this individual has molded us into their image. They have become our idol. We may not always admit it with our mouths, but we show it through our actions just the same. But what happens when we fall short of their expectations?
Well, as human beings, none of us can ever be "perfect," no matter how hard we try. This inability to reach (it/perfection) makes the need for the blood and righteousness of a perfect savior that much more vital for our justification before God. Jesus is that perfect savior.
I am truly grateful that God doesn't require us to be perfect. We sometimes feel overwhelmed, and even stress out because we fall short of expectations fellow men and women set before us. But the great thing about our God is that he isn't looking for perfect people. He is looking for perfect hearts. This doesn't give us an excuse to habitually sin, however, it does gives us hope when we do slip occasionally. The first verse of Romans chapter 8 says that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So we should no longer feel ashamed of past sin. That alone gives me so much hope..
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Recap of the last few weeks
Man it has been a while since i've blogged! Wow, life has been really crazy lately. For starters, I've decided to join the air force! I took the asvab Thursday and I get processed at MEPS on this upcoming Wednesday. My family is doing pretty well also. We don't fight much anymore which is good. A few arguments here and there but nothing major. There is less than 2 months left before graduation!! :) I'm excited but also very nervous. I am ready to see what life lies beyond high school. I also got my prom dress :) that's basically all the things that have happened recently.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Early This Morning
This morning, around 4:30 am, I could feel God tugging on my heart to wake up. Wednesday was a long day for me, so naturally my flesh resisted this early wake up call. But I could hear holy spirit saying, "come, spend time with me." So I sat up, tired and all, and listened.
As a Christian, that's one of the first things that should be added to our "Things to Do" list- listening. I'm not talking about that passive listening where we are present physically, but our minds are wondering about elsewhere. Nor do I mean the aggressive listening we often use when our emotions get frazzled. Aggressive listening is when we listen while simultaneously thinking of come-backs in our minds, and even interrupt before the other person has had a chance to completely finish their thought process.
How often do we do this to God? We come crying to him in the humblest and most genuine way we've been taught. But most of our "prayers" aren't really prayers, but a quick "God-can-you-please-do-this-for-me" list that we often times feel like we're justified in asking for because we've been so "faithful." Of course, we are God's children and he wants us to come to him and believe in him to fulfill all of our needs. However, if our entire prayer life revolves around what God can do for us, it may be time for a self-evaluation. It's hard for us to wrap our minds around this concept at times, but life really has little to do with us and all to do with God. It's not "what can God do for us" but rather "what can we do for God?" Once we put ourselves on the back burner and stop talking, we will see that God's been speaking to us the whole time. We were just too busy talking to hear him.
I recently learned this about myself. I spend time with God in prayer, in his word and even in church activities. There'd be times when I'd encounter God in such an incredibly deep way, and it was amazing! Then the day would be over, and so was that great feeling. But I wanted that feeling to be accessible to me at any and all times of the day! So I thought by doing more things that pleased God, I'd get that feeling back, and I'd experience it more often.
But this morning God reminded me that it's because of him that I'm able to do anything, not my own effort. In Courtney I am nothing but in Christ I can do all things. Somewhere between trying to better myself and searching for God, I seemed to forget that God isn't looking for perfect people, but perfect hearts; and worship is something we can never truly perfect because we will never be able to serve enough, dance enough, clap our hands or stomp our feet loud enough to omit the debt that we owe to our father. Yet He loved us. He showed us the perfect way to love, and through his son Jesus, we have an opportunity to spend our lives trying to reciprocate that same love back to him. I didn't realize that trying to prove myself through works is just as bad as only praying to God to get something out of him. In both cases, there's one common factor: we're not listening to God! If you look to God just to ask him to bless you, or heal you or do this or do that, you don't leave room for God to speak to you. Maybe he'd share ways you can fix your own problem (through the power he gave us in the holy spirit), if you took the time to listen to the wisdom he has to offer. Likewise, for me, I had to learn that doing God's work doesn't ensure a closer relationship/ encounter with him. Faith does. Sometimes we can become so busy trying to carry out God's work that we seldom leave time for God to speak to us about how to work on the inside. How can you fix that temper you have? God can you help me to not get involved with gossip? Those are things that only God can share with you. It's hard to find those kind of answers in a service project.
So I'm praying to God to help me listen to him more.
As a Christian, that's one of the first things that should be added to our "Things to Do" list- listening. I'm not talking about that passive listening where we are present physically, but our minds are wondering about elsewhere. Nor do I mean the aggressive listening we often use when our emotions get frazzled. Aggressive listening is when we listen while simultaneously thinking of come-backs in our minds, and even interrupt before the other person has had a chance to completely finish their thought process.
How often do we do this to God? We come crying to him in the humblest and most genuine way we've been taught. But most of our "prayers" aren't really prayers, but a quick "God-can-you-please-do-this-for-me" list that we often times feel like we're justified in asking for because we've been so "faithful." Of course, we are God's children and he wants us to come to him and believe in him to fulfill all of our needs. However, if our entire prayer life revolves around what God can do for us, it may be time for a self-evaluation. It's hard for us to wrap our minds around this concept at times, but life really has little to do with us and all to do with God. It's not "what can God do for us" but rather "what can we do for God?" Once we put ourselves on the back burner and stop talking, we will see that God's been speaking to us the whole time. We were just too busy talking to hear him.
I recently learned this about myself. I spend time with God in prayer, in his word and even in church activities. There'd be times when I'd encounter God in such an incredibly deep way, and it was amazing! Then the day would be over, and so was that great feeling. But I wanted that feeling to be accessible to me at any and all times of the day! So I thought by doing more things that pleased God, I'd get that feeling back, and I'd experience it more often.
But this morning God reminded me that it's because of him that I'm able to do anything, not my own effort. In Courtney I am nothing but in Christ I can do all things. Somewhere between trying to better myself and searching for God, I seemed to forget that God isn't looking for perfect people, but perfect hearts; and worship is something we can never truly perfect because we will never be able to serve enough, dance enough, clap our hands or stomp our feet loud enough to omit the debt that we owe to our father. Yet He loved us. He showed us the perfect way to love, and through his son Jesus, we have an opportunity to spend our lives trying to reciprocate that same love back to him. I didn't realize that trying to prove myself through works is just as bad as only praying to God to get something out of him. In both cases, there's one common factor: we're not listening to God! If you look to God just to ask him to bless you, or heal you or do this or do that, you don't leave room for God to speak to you. Maybe he'd share ways you can fix your own problem (through the power he gave us in the holy spirit), if you took the time to listen to the wisdom he has to offer. Likewise, for me, I had to learn that doing God's work doesn't ensure a closer relationship/ encounter with him. Faith does. Sometimes we can become so busy trying to carry out God's work that we seldom leave time for God to speak to us about how to work on the inside. How can you fix that temper you have? God can you help me to not get involved with gossip? Those are things that only God can share with you. It's hard to find those kind of answers in a service project.
So I'm praying to God to help me listen to him more.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Volleyball Highlights
Hey check out my volleyball highlight tape.. it looks a lot better on a DVD player b/c I added a few cool things, but this is just the footage. Let me know what you think!
Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus
This is such an amazing poem! It definitely shows the difference between our savior Jesus Christ, and the false religious teaching of today. I hope you all enjoy it, I enjoyed it! Keep an eye out for my videos.. I will be posting my own spoken word poetry up here in a few weeks.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
His Love is Endless
The last few months have really been a growing period in my life, both physically and spiritually. With this being my last year in high school, my senior year, there are so many things going on that can really be a lot of stress for someone to handle...especially if they are carrying the load all by themselves. But thank you Jesus for carrying my burdens away. Jesus said in Matthew 11: 28 that he would give rest to those who are heavy laden; that scripture gives me all the confidence in the world because I don't just think of it as Jesus simply "removing" the obstacle or situation from my life. I read that word "rest," and i think to rest means to be worry-free; you have no care in the world. You're confident, you have faith in the one supplying your rest, so you no longer worry about being heavy laden. Even in the midst of a storm you can have rest because you have God with you. Jesus is our rest. In him we can have complete peace because we know that He cares for his flock, his sheep; his children. If we are in Christ, and Christ in us, this scripture should give us so much hope! With Christ, my hope is endless.
A few nights ago, I was re-reading notes I had taken on the doctrine of imputation. I nearly broke down because I thought to myself, "how awesome is it that God loved us so much, he was willing to come down to us in the form of man, impute our sin to himself, lay down his life, defeat the bondage and damnation of hell, then raise himself up just to reconcile the bond that was broken between us and him?" There was a statement on Facebook the other day and it said, "Jesus would rather die than to live without you," meaning you were so important to him, he just needed to come back and save you! This isn't true! Yes God loves us, but he most certainly does not need any of us. After everything we have done, it's only by God's grace that he decided to save us. There's nothing "lovable" about me or you; nothing even remotely "likeable." But he loved us while we were yet sinners! When we accept his invitation of love and open our hearts up to Him so that he can love on us and we in return learn to love on him, we see that we begin to grow more and more in the likeness of God's character; acquiring that same genuine love for others that He has shown and continues to show to us. His love is endless.
Yesterday, I went to the 100 Black Men of Jacksonville Infinity Scholars College Fair at the Hyatt downtown. My dad is a member of the hundred, so he thought i'd go, help out a little, walk around and see some of the schools.. I didn't have an objection to going to the college fair with my dad, but I wasn't super hyped about it either. My grades are far from valedictorian, and my test scores are average. I've even had teachers tell me i "wasn't college material" and should explore other options. I knew what God said about me in his word, but there were still times where I subconsciously let the negativity and death others had spoken over my life distract me from who I know I am in Christ. But yesterday, God showed me just how wrong all of those teachers were. I received full rides, money for room+ board and books, and volleyball scholarships. Friday night, which was the night before, one of my youth leaders at church told me that she felt God had placed it on her heart to give me $150 for college applications! How good is God? These are things I have been stressing since August, and God just took over and cleared it all up in less than 24 hours! When God does miraculous things like this, i don't only thank him and rejoice in the blessing, but I grow in Him because He reveals more and more to me about his character and i learn to trust him more. Even whilst going through an obstacle, I've been more stable the last few months because I've grown so much closer to Him. The possibilities of God when he is given permission to roam freely throughout your life are endless! Thank you so much God not just for blessing me these last few days, but giving me another day to get closer to you and work on my walk a little each day.
A few nights ago, I was re-reading notes I had taken on the doctrine of imputation. I nearly broke down because I thought to myself, "how awesome is it that God loved us so much, he was willing to come down to us in the form of man, impute our sin to himself, lay down his life, defeat the bondage and damnation of hell, then raise himself up just to reconcile the bond that was broken between us and him?" There was a statement on Facebook the other day and it said, "Jesus would rather die than to live without you," meaning you were so important to him, he just needed to come back and save you! This isn't true! Yes God loves us, but he most certainly does not need any of us. After everything we have done, it's only by God's grace that he decided to save us. There's nothing "lovable" about me or you; nothing even remotely "likeable." But he loved us while we were yet sinners! When we accept his invitation of love and open our hearts up to Him so that he can love on us and we in return learn to love on him, we see that we begin to grow more and more in the likeness of God's character; acquiring that same genuine love for others that He has shown and continues to show to us. His love is endless.
Yesterday, I went to the 100 Black Men of Jacksonville Infinity Scholars College Fair at the Hyatt downtown. My dad is a member of the hundred, so he thought i'd go, help out a little, walk around and see some of the schools.. I didn't have an objection to going to the college fair with my dad, but I wasn't super hyped about it either. My grades are far from valedictorian, and my test scores are average. I've even had teachers tell me i "wasn't college material" and should explore other options. I knew what God said about me in his word, but there were still times where I subconsciously let the negativity and death others had spoken over my life distract me from who I know I am in Christ. But yesterday, God showed me just how wrong all of those teachers were. I received full rides, money for room+ board and books, and volleyball scholarships. Friday night, which was the night before, one of my youth leaders at church told me that she felt God had placed it on her heart to give me $150 for college applications! How good is God? These are things I have been stressing since August, and God just took over and cleared it all up in less than 24 hours! When God does miraculous things like this, i don't only thank him and rejoice in the blessing, but I grow in Him because He reveals more and more to me about his character and i learn to trust him more. Even whilst going through an obstacle, I've been more stable the last few months because I've grown so much closer to Him. The possibilities of God when he is given permission to roam freely throughout your life are endless! Thank you so much God not just for blessing me these last few days, but giving me another day to get closer to you and work on my walk a little each day.
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